In recent meditation and contemplation, I’ve heard and seen the words “Radical Self-Care.” Sometimes when we’re in situations depleting our joy and well-being, we not only need to take care of ourselves “extra,” but our own self-care will also make a difference with our relationships and in others’ lives.

Like spending some time outside, drinking enough water, exercising, eating… walking, feeling, acting and talking even more often from a place of love will change us. It does not matter how others are acting or speaking around us; we first need to shift ourselves. Self-care and self-love—and I’m learning this so strongly right now myself—are essential.

I remember when I was teaching writing (a nearly 14-year gig!) at the university level. I’d grade and grade and grade, often skipping social opportunities, not always eating properly, losing so much sleep… but it was when I actually took more time outside, had dinner out with a friend, spent even more time with my dog and took the time to do my own writing that I felt whole and refreshed again. I was more energized. I was reminded the importance of taking time to just “be” and rest and do the things that filled me with joy and peace again. We too often convince ourselves that we don’t have enough time for the very things we need to stay in healthier states of being… yet if we don’t make and take that time, the lack will catch up with us, often physically and definitely emotionally.

Teaching writing in the environments I chose for that long time period taught me contrast with self-care and lack of self-care. When I decided to leave teaching college-level writing, I left with the mantra, “Choose Joy,” and since then, those words have become a reminder and instruction when I’m realizing that my self-love level is low. I actually, perhaps like many of you, have no problem in GIVING love—as much love as I can—most of the time. But in my adult years, I’ve been earnestly efforting to release unhealthy caretaking.

I invite you to take on this idea of Love Every Day™ and perhaps even track for the next seven days—maybe even 30 days—what you do to (1) love yourself each day and (2) love others each day. Remember that part of loving ourselves is allowing others to love us in their own ways and in ways that support our needs. Act and think from places of love and not fear… and notice what that feels and looks like. Out of fear, we may say “yes” to a commitment that really only feels like something we don’t want to do; acting from a place of love in this same situation, we say “no” because we’re loving ourselves and honoring what we need.Try it on.

Watch things unfold. Be open to shifts. But especially be open to LOVE.

© Erika M. Schreck and Turtle Healing Energy, 2014. All rights reserved.