Gasp! “You’re not on Facebook?!?”

I get that reaction a lot, followed by a look of sincere disappointment.

So, Facebook, that on-line social-networking website that allows us to share our lives (pictures, status reports, life details), reconnect with people from our past, garner new business and new friends, and connect with others who have similar values and interests. It’s really a wonderful concept and resource; it just doesn’t resonate with me. Even though I miss out on pictures my friends and family post. Even though I’m often told that I would have known something (important) if I were on Facebook. Even though I can’t respond to a party invite because I have to be on Facebook to send my reply. Even though I’m told I could grow my business even more if I were on Facebook. Even though. Even though. Even though. And I’m taunted with lines like “Well, you could see updated pictures of your nephew if you were on Facebook” or “You could have heard how her trip went and see the pictures if you were on Facebook.” I’m not denying the benefits Facebook offers. Truly. I’m just not into it.

I check several e-mail accounts every day, given my main job teaching writing at CU-Boulder, and spend a lot of time on the computer and on-line. And I get a little concerned lately with hearing more comments from my friends like “I’m so done with Facebook” or hearing stories like “Yesterday, I was on Facebook, and I posted ___, and then so-and-so misinterpreted what I said, and… now we’re not talking, and….” Sounds like a lot of stress, overall. And I don’t do drama. Okay, I really, really try not to encourage drama in my life, and Facebook feels drama-encouraging. I also shy away because I’m already not writing enough; I have so many other things I need to do with my time that Facebook feels like a time suck, and my friends and family and admit that it is.

Truthfully, I also don’t want to connect with too many people from my past. High school was not enjoyable for me, and I moved a lot growing up (four different grade schools; moved nine times before I was 18), so I get overwhelmed just thinking about the possibilities. One of my sisters informed me awhile ago that my long-term ex was now married with a pregnant wife, but is it good for us to know these things? Of course, I’m curious like most humans. No doubt. I’d love to check on some people, wondering what they’re up to. But Google seems to work just about the same for me, and it’s more on my terms. I also admit that I see my college students over-connected every day, talking on their phones, texting and so forth, ignoring everyone else around them, and they’re showing a decline in social skills, commitment and writing skills and developing over-dependence on their parentals, all because of accessibility.

Finally, most importantly, I admit that with where I’m at right now on my spiritual path, I believe that things are just as they should be. I will reconnect with people I’m “supposed” to, given other serendipitous adventures. Perhaps that’s why I’ve not found success with or have been interested lately in on-line dating; I don’t want to push too hard to make things happen (along with all of the other interesting dynamics in an on-line dating venue that I will not discuss at this time), for I believe in Divine Timing and a larger path. Except for possible business connections and spiritual connections perhaps Facebook could create, I still like e-mail, phone calls,  even (gasp!) handwritten cards and letters, and in-person time. I sincerely aim for a life with reduced stress, and for as great as all of our technological advances are, I like to choose—and choose wisely, for me. All despite continued exclusion and judgment. I’m honoring myself. I don’t completely understand how people give up their TVs (you see a lot of that in Boulder), another technological time warp, but that’s okay, and along the same lines of creating the life that best serves us.

You might think, “Erika’s so old school,” and that’s okay. No judgment if you’re on Facebook and one of the many who has been trying to convince me to join Facebook. As an outsider, all I can offer is to not take it [Facebook] too seriously. And maybe someday I’ll hop on the bandwagon and be on Facebook. For now, I’m content with being Facebook-Free and Really Okay with It.