With Christmas recently here and gone once again, I received the gift I’ve requested the last few years: Mr. Partner.

In these last handful of years, when my mom and siblings would ask for my list of Christmas gift ideas, I’d say, half-joking but really a-bit-more-than-half-hopeful, “I’d like Mr. Partner wrapped in a bow under my tree.”

My friends, family, blog readers, newsletter subscribers and even brief acquaintances have heard my mention of Mr. Partner—my intended, ultimate man this lifetime and someone who is truly a partner and has the qualities I’ve been desiring in a mate. My belief has long been that life can be difficult enough at times—a partner needs to be someone who is the solid, safe ground and the place where there is love, support and ease.

My Mr. Partner has arrived.

Manifestation, hope and definite thoughts and actions seem to have immensely helped this development, and I’ve been asked by many, “How did you do it?” I claim no expertise here, but I do claim patience, trust in my intuition and self, independence, personal “work” and… hope. Even as the years have ticked on, I had to let go of feeling like they were “ticking.” I realized that time and age could not be the pressures they often are to settle with a mate—or I would have been with an unhealthy match, and I had those opportunities. Even with pangs of “[sigh] But I always thought I’d be a mom, naturally” had to be released, as endometriosis and age were realistic factors.

With age 40 right around the corner, I don’t consider myself old, but I’ve been wanting to share my life with someone in a healthy partnership for a very long time. Even an eight-year relationship wasn’t the Right One.

What I Didn’t Do
While I tried the on-line dating venue a long time ago and know many searching singles have found their matches here, I refused to do it in recent years. I felt very clear and self-honoring with avoiding this means and stopped feeling I had to justify my decision with caring but pushing friends.

I also stopped pining, realizing that that focusing on myself and my well-being first was crucial and that a partner would be healthiest and better timed when I was in my best place, on my own. Furthermore, I didn’t talk about my lack of relationship all the time; sure, I noted I was interested and hoping, but I stopped over-talking “it”—and stopped any negative, unworthiness talk (ex. “I’ll never find someone.”), knowing these things would not help. I needed to let go of societal and even family expectations and judgments for when and how Mr. Partner would be in my life.

What I Did Do
People have asked what I did to manifest Mr. Partner, and I share the following with the disclaimer that Divine Timing, authentic living and personal readiness are huge factors.
1. I prepared myself: I continually asked and honestly answered whether I was really ready for a healthy relationship.
Was I in the best place possible for partnership? Had I done all I needed to be there? What did I still need to do? I thought I was “ready” for such a long time, yet I discovered that there were things I still needed to do to really be ready.

2. I worked through my stuff.
Where and how was I still feeling unworthy? What hadn’t I personally healed with relationships, my parents, my time and self-esteem? I read the book Calling in “the One” (Katherine Woodward Thomas)—and did the smart, helpful exercises at the ends of the chapters. I reread old journals and reflected on main patterns and suggestions noted by former therapists.

3. I put time and intention into acts of manifestation.
Manifesting something involves sincere energetic effort, as well as supportive and guided action. When I drew a heart or typed one into a Facebook post or phone text, I always created two hearts—two for partnership—and still do.

I purchased a fun, stylish purse from a local company named Sherpani; this purse has a picture of an embracing man and woman on the front flap.

from front panel of my “manifestation purse”
Brand: Sherpani

When I went to the self-checkout registers at the grocery store, when I could, I chose numbers that represent partnership and family: “2” and “6.”

I handwrote what I wanted in Mr. Partner—and not just qualities or attributes but particularly how I wanted to feel with him (ex. “I want to feel safe and protected,” “I want to feel respected,” “I want to laugh with him”). Even though I’d made lists in the past for what I wanted in a partnership, it was time to do a clean, updated, full expression. I can tell you now that even the “little things”—listed items I wasn’t even considering deal-breakers—like “he doesn’t ski every weekend like a lot of Colorado men” or “he drinks and enjoys tea” are true with my manifested Mr. Partner.

I would light candles with the intention of my handwritten list of desires in Mr. Partner being manifested. Additionally, I started considering my home: I donated items that had connection to exes, I started decluttering and creating space, I was mindful of my “relationship corner” (feng shui practice), and I started viewing my material things with a more critical eye (ex. “Would I want to take this with me if I moved, or would I keep it if I had someone move in with me and needed more space?”).

How often did I do these things? I had them in mind often and acted on them when called.

4. I trusted, I stayed hopeful, I stayed open, and I kept being the best, most authentic possible me.

Even our dogs are sweet together

We are powerful beings; with intention, we are even more powerful and see more results. Excitement, calm, peace, joy and ease have increased with my recent manifestation of Mr. Partner, and I am so grateful. Free will still abounds; I am still hopeful and anticipatory.

© Erika M. Schreck and Turtle Healing Energy, 2014. All rights reserved.