I’ve attended two going-away parties this week for friends moving out of state.  And as I spoke with both of these couples, enjoying food and drink, hearing about the woes of moving but the excitement of a new adventure, I realized how little time I’d spent with these lovely people while they lived here.  Yet, this week I’ve been fortunate to see them twice.  At the second gathering, seven of the 12 of us at the dinner were moving within a month to different states: California, Oregon, North Carolina and Florida!

We’re not meant to be best friends with everyone and give all of our time equally.  On a deeper level, though, what is it about human nature that allows us to create space for certain people we really like  and love when they’re moving, dying or sick but struggle to find (make) the time to get together, otherwise?  We often get wrapped up in our work, our families, the day-to-day, and it seems that the Universe needs to send us a jolt–through others or in our own lives–to prioritize the people, the activities, the sentiments and the doing.

Losing my dad so suddenly and unexpectedly and not having the opportunity to say good-bye in the physical world still causes ripples in my perspective and actions.  I get busy, too, but prioritize friends and family; I’m not saying I’m perfect in this carpe diem lifestyle, but I try–really hard–and make the effort.  Admittedly, I find myself a bit frustrated at times with others who still haven’t had the “jolt” or have had it and already seemingly lost it.  I want to be remembered by friends and family partly with “She took time for me, for us,” which I realize is not everyone’s deal and totally okay.  Regret is a terrible pain, and each individual gets to decide what will yield his or her least regret.  Daily, I can only hope we all choose paths and people bringing us the most peace of mind and joy now and in the long run and not wait for a crisis, an unexpected event or significant shift that results in the woulda, shoulda, coulda mindset (regret).  The only good that can result from regret is the lesson and hope that we won’t repeat what action brought regret in the first place.

I have a friend losing her mom to breast cancer “soon.”  And even in a most difficult time, I’ve heard my friend and others losing loved ones to terminal conditions admit, “But at least I had time with ___ to say ___.”  We’re all terminal, really.  If we focus on the latter every single day, though, we can become obsessed in an unhealthy way.  But we don’t usually know how long we or others are in this physical life, so whom and what do we choose to keep close?

If we discovered that we had only five minutes left to say all that we wanted to say, every telephone booth would be occupied by people calling other people to stammer that they loved them. 
~Christopher Morley

Telephone booths may be a thing of the past; ironically, keeping in touch and telling people we love them is so much easier now.  Everyone is busy.  It’s all about priorities.