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Perhaps you’re familiar with the famous commercial of the 1980s, publicized by Partnership for a Drug-Free America: “This is your brain [holding egg]; this is drugs [pointing to butter in frying pan]… this is your brain on drugs [egg now frying in pan].  Any questions?”

Okay, so I’m not on drugs, but my brain seems to be on something these days, and I fault my lack of sleep, too many things going on, and a job for which the Universe seems to keep saying, “It’s time to move on, Erika, and we’re going to keep convincing you of that.” Oh, and the signs keep coming. I’m listening. I’ve been on this consistent 8 a.m. (start the day) to about 2:30 a.m. (finally get to bed) kind of schedule for most days of the week, and the work continues through the weekend, and my body is finally saying “Enough.”

For the last couple of weeks, I’ve been struggling with a decision for tomorrow (Saturday, October 30) of Plan A (invitation to support a wonderful, local non-profit called MESA [Moving to End Sexual Assault], a cause near and dear to my heart, as I am a survivor myself) vs. Plan B (invite to a costume party in Denver, hosted by friends). I decided I would donate to MESA and RSVP’d Yes for the costume party; only the last several days, I’ve not felt completely right. I’ve still felt compelled to attend and further support the MESA event but didn’t want to disappoint my friends.

Tonight, while making dinner, I decided that my gut was screaming that I needed to honor my feelings and choose the MESA event, so I got on the internet and went to the Evite to change my reply to No and vowed to call and e-mail my friend. Only I noticed the date of the costume party said Friday, October 29.  I blinked. I read it again. OMG. TONIGHT. The party was tonight?! So, not only did I make a huge error (I’ve been thinking for weeks that the party was tomorrow night and have viewed the invitation at least three times), but it seems the Universe was also confirming my plan and clearing my schedule. Honestly, tonight I’m exhausted and need to honor my rest and an earlier bedtime (and popcorn and a movie with some crocheting! later).

But I’ll share another embarrassing recent brain malfunction: I totally spaced a committee meeting a few weeks ago and received an “Erika, are you okay?” kind of e-mail from my colleague, as I just don’t miss stuff. I’ve only missed one other committee meeting in the last seven years in this teaching job, and that was due to illness. What’s going on? Tonight I started thinking of that “brain on drugs” commercial from the ’80s because my brain feels fried, overloaded. “Erika, this is your brain on fatigue, uncertainty, fear.” No, I’m not losing it, as some of you may have earlier uttered, but I am realizing that it’s time to re-evaluate where I am in my life and start taking better care of myself. What great information! It’s also time to remind myself to honor my intuition; we always know, right? And I have to say that with relationships, social plans and both major and minor decisions, our inner compass, our inner voice(s) and our “gut” will guide us and serve us well. We humans seem to need a lot of nudges and warnings at times. In the midst of so many things lately, I even feel a little silly for continuing on such an exhausting journey this long. My spiritual guides, friends and family are all calling me out these days.

I find that I am “on” and grounded and at peace when I’m doing my healing work, spending time with my dog, crocheting and doing other crafty things. My brain seems to be just fine in those areas. But when things are funky, we’re not entirely ourselves, we’re not experiencing joy as we all deserve and the signs start pouring in, it’s time to readjust our path–and realize our authentic path. I’m ready, and I’m puttin’ it out there. Manifestin’.